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So I've had this dream...

Firebird started out on her path in 1987 after finding her biological family where she learned of her Native American roots. She continued on a solitary journey, absorbing as much as she could about spirituality, when she joined a coven in 1994 where the focus was in Celtic shamanism, fertility, and healing. Ordained in 1999 in this Celtic tradition as well as in the ULC, she would be happy to answer questions on solitary practice as well as group dynamic. She specializes in herb lore, wildcrafting, as well as stones, ritual design, shapeshifting, dreamwork, spells, incense blends, and more. Feel free to stop in the Den of the Firebird and see if she can help.

So I've had this dream...

Postby walnut51 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 3:34 pm

23, M

I've had this dream a few days ago and it's really been bugging me so here it is.

Dream: I don't remember much of how things started (I hardly ever do), but what I remember of the beginning was like a silent slide show. I was walking around a park (that I have no real life memory of)with a girl (I don't think she's someone I know in real life, but in my dream I felt very close to her. It was like the kind of closeness you might feel with a younger sister, or a close cousin. She looked a lot like my sister in fact but different somehow).

We somehow found a dark cave with a blueish glow coming from a small pond inside. We looked into the pond and found all kinds of fish and dolphins putting on some kind of show or festival inside. (The pond seemed to expand underneath the ground so there was plenty of space as well as pockets of air trapped beneath the cave floor in the pond) Upon seeing this and being amazed and entertained, a thought suddenly struck me. (at this point in the dream I start remembering words more clearly)

"We should tell *****!" I know I didn't actually say anyone's name. I might have just said "Her" or maybe my friend (who's name I'm also sure I don't, at least currently as well as in that dream know) simply knew who I meant, but she agreed and we ran to go find her.

This second girl I almost felt very familiar with not like a sister, but more like someone I just grew up with, like a neighbor, or a school mate though I did get the feeling She was definitely older than myself (though she didn't look much older at all). When I first saw her, my first thoughts were of how beautiful She was, but it was no surprise. Somehow in that dream I could remember that She had always been beautiful with long red hair. The look on her face when she saw me however, was one of skepticism.

At first she said nothing just followed, and when she saw the pond and all the fish inside she was still more focused on me. When I looked up at Her from the pond she was still looking at me as she had before. "Why did you bring me here?" she asked, at which point my friend started to look a bit nervous. "We thought you would like it." I said. She then looked at my friend, who in turn looked at the ground (as if there had been some communication I could not hear) and then She (with the red hair) looked to me and in such a way that somehow made me realize that I don't remember her and I asked "who are you?" and though she didn't look surprised, there was obvious pain that came with hearing what I said."I should slap you down." she said, and somehow I felt like I deserved it.

It became a nightmare from there on. Nothing really changed, but the way I saw everything. it was like i was having an anxiety attack. I felt sick and dizzy, confused and afraid, but above all guilty and ashamed. Meanwhile the sound of my question kept echoing in my head "Who are you? Who are you?" over and over. I fell to my knees and said "Who are you? Who are you?" as if the echos were pouring out of me "Why is it echoing in my head?" I asked crying now.

"Look at him he's relapsing. " to which I replied "No I haven't done that in months!" (which is weird, because I've never done hard drugs before. I've smoked weed when I was like 17-20 but that wasn't so bad) My friend tried to convince her that She was wrong, but she replied "Look at him if that doesn't look like relapse to you, you're blind." I started to worry that She might have been right. I thought "Did i take drugs? If I did, I can't even remember it! How can I know what's happening? I can't remember anything!"

She then decided that it was time to go, and told my friend to go with her (at her reluctant compliance, I assume now they must have been closely related). I begged them not to leave me but it was no use. Before She was gone, She told me this: "Come find me when you remember my name. Then I will forgive you." and then she was gone.

I don't remember what happened after that so I guess that's all.

[footnote: I've recently decided to start on an initiatory pagan path but I have not yet chosen (or been chosen by, to my knowledge) my patriarchal/matriarchal Gods. I have been since wondering if this was meant to be a calling ( perhaps even by Goddess's I've honored in a past incarnation, or could it be something more mundane? Any interpretation would help.]
walnut51
 
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Re: so I've had this dream...

Postby firebirdflys » Tue Mar 28, 2017 5:50 pm

Hi walnut, yeah, that sounds like quite a lot to take in.
My initial impression was that your inner self wants you to take a harder look at something you would rather avoid. ie: the idea of having an addiction.
The 2 familiar females could be related to your waking up to the Goddess energy, the fish represent knowledge and learning, having the woman demanding who you are seems like you might have guilt in exploring this new path, maybe leftover from your previous religious affiliations. Or you youself are wondering if this path is right for you. I also wonder if you are having big expectations about meeting up with a patron. Which may or may not ever happen. And that's ok, continue with your studies and if happens, great! If it doesn't they either haven't found you ir you will find you wish to work with many.
Welcome to the board, could you please swing by introductions and let us kniw a little bit about yoursrlf? Thanks!
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Re: so I've had this dream...

Postby walnut51 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:10 pm

Thanks, firebird!
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