~ EUTM ~ Forum for Witchcraft & Wiccan Spirituality

[Zili]

long story short the cps ordeal has caused almost constant fighting and tonight some words were had in our biggest fight to date you know the whole saying "don't go to bed angry at each other" ? yeah well we did the opposite tonight... he on purpose called me by his ex room mate's name because I was being a "bitch" by making him do the cleaning he was supposed to have done all day long. and because I'm trying to baby proof the apartment to cps standards and he wants to do things his way and thinks that will be enough to get him by.

when he called me by his ex room mate's name that didn't say "stressed" to me that in my mind read as "I hate you"
at this point i don't know if our relationship can recover from the damage.

[Black_Tail]

Z, have hope. The people he thought he could trust want to screw him over and steal his child. He probably feels like he doesn't have much control right now. Be patient Z, try to talk with him about it. Even if you end up bawling, its better than sitting there thinking he hates you. Peace Z. Healing to you and have hope. Breath and sleep.

[Zili]

thanks Black tail, we worked things out...

I'm asking once again for some healing energies for my body this time (maybe a bit for my mind too) since my first child never came to be because of the rape (morning after pill and all of that) I told myself i'd never "get rid" of a baby again...

then we had an accident me and michael, but the pregnancy test said negative, later that day i started my period thought everything was hunky dory.... but it wasnt... apparently the pregnancy test lied and I just miscarried started two days ago or so and finished up tonight

I believe it was my endometriosis that caused it...which would be my body saying that although fertilization can happen, surviving in my scarred uterus is impossible.

[Black_Tail]

Don't give up hope. It will be ok. The Universe will give you what you need, and right now you have your family. Breath that comfort and joy in and know it will be all right.
Blessing Z

[Zoe73]

Black Tail is right Zili, don't give up hope.
I too have endometriosis, and I am still hoping one day I will have a child of my own, even though the Dr. is not so sure. He says I may need a hysterectomy in the next couple of years due to the endo. I don't believe that though.

I will send you some healing energy.

Also try focusing orange glowing light from your sacral chakra. Some chakra meditation, with specific focus on the sacral chakra can really help as well.

I am sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I don't know the entire story, so I am just going off of what I've read.
Love & Light