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I feel this stuff is not for me...

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I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Kapitan Prien » Wed May 07, 2014 6:54 am

This post also relates to the thread the 'Anti-New Age Establishment'.

I had posted about this in my personal private blog and I will copy and paste it here - as it is kind of hard for me to re-explain it all without going into detail:

At this point (this being during the 24th), I need to seriously interrupt the flow of things here for a reason. Just a few nights ago, I had this dream I was reading the Bible. In the dream I felt conflicted - I felt like I wanted to belong, but at the same time, felt that it was not for me. I had looked up the meaning behind it and found this:

"To dream of the Bible, foretells that innocent and disillusioned enjoyment will be proffered for your acceptance."


I had also had this other dream that, I think is related to it. In this other dream, I had purchased a crystal which looked like a long thin piece of pink tourmaline. When I had got it, I noticed that it turned out to be nothing but pink painted glass. I was seriously disillusioned. There was an incident that happened to me that was actually like that. I had gone on eBay to purchase what was listed as a ‘Natural Black Jade’ bracelet. When I got it, it turned out to be nothing but black painted white plastic beads. Thankfully I didn’t pay much and got a refund. I had gotten what was to be my Strawberry Quartz beads on that day.

Now, I had done as much research as I could and even looked to see what raw Strawberry Quartz looked like to make sure as much as possible that it would be ok. Well, these beads I got turned out to be glass actually - after having found very minute bubbles in them. Now I know readers can laugh and deride me as much as they want, but I didn’t pay much for it for one thing - and two, the sellers probably had no idea that they were glass (as it was quite hard for me to even tell). I’m not overly disappointed, as I loved the color anyway, and they’d look great with my seashells. But it was on that day when a huge ‘shift’ in me occurred. When I was washing dishes in the morning, I suddenly felt like I was going to vomit because I had felt like I was dealing with intense motion sickness. I felt the weird feeling in my head and the horrible feeling in my gut. I had to stop what I was doing and let what energy was ‘changing’ through me do so. It was very hard for me to keep calm and to let the situation pass as it was one of the worst feelings I’ve had since the soul exchange. It eventually passed and I was able to continue on.


Later throughout the day, I realized that the crystals I was drawn to, were actually a sort of ‘signpost’ of where I was in my healing in dealing with healing the body. I had become more attracted to the ‘Anti-New Age Establishment’ type stuff as evidenced in my blog articles I collected. This sort of feeling had been reflected in the dream regarding the Bible. I wanted to ‘belong’ to a group (a New Age group/community) but I had always been an outcast. I was always at odds with things regarding the whole ‘movement’. Whether it be meditation, or becoming vegan/vegetarian, or becoming a healer, etc. I was always thinking, ‘What about taking care of MYSELF and not being a doormat, a spineless coward, or martyr?’ Just like in the articles in the blog, I have noticed the same things (but I had always thought that perhaps it was just me). It is nice to know that I’m not alone anymore in my views of the ‘New Age Establishment’. Interestingly enough, my totem animal - the Shark, whose one aspect is ‘Resistance to Change’, has almost become a sort of ‘symbol’ of myself with all of this. Because I refused to change for the ‘New Age Establishment’ I was rejected, disliked, but mainly ignored. There were a few who were willing to listen to my message and not try to change my message - but rather see how it would apply to their lives. That’s what I wanted…not someone try to change my message by trying to change me. There was to be no ‘change for the sake of change’. I feel like I had come to represent the things most disliked by the ‘New Age Establishment’: ego, the Darkness, ‘negativity’, ‘fear’, the Shadow Self, and a ‘predator’. The Shark had become me, and I the Shark…and like the Shark, I had been misunderstood most of the time. Therefore, I was feared.


There was a sense of serious disillusionment with the ‘movement’. Much like feeling of one’s ‘heart not being in it’. There was also a feeling of it not being for me (despite my own personal spiritual experience - but keep in mind I had met another who had a soul exchange and he’s not involved in the ‘movement’…but owns and runs a tea shop and fixes computers). It is not my purpose to be involved in any form of religion or spirituality. In addition, I was becoming more comfortable with my ‘German self’ - my ‘German identity’…this must be the Mullein working…

"Consciousness must also include conscience; as the soul gain greater awareness of itself it also acquires an inner voice or moral life. This morality must be generated from within; as long as laws or dictates are stamped on the personality from the outside, the Self will not develop real strength of character.

Mullein essence helps the individual at those times when it must wrestle with its own consciousness. It can be extremely beneficial for those who lack moral fortitude, and who may resort to dishonesty and deceit in conducting the affairs of the daily life. Through Mullein the soul awakens to its inner voice and develops the capacity to listen and respond to its true Self.

This remedy can be especially helpful when one must take a stand for personal authenticity, despite social pressure or confusing social mores. The Mullein flower assists the soul in achieving greater moral uprightness, infused with qualities of Light and Truth. "





************************************************************

That is how I REALLY feel about all this as well...(from one of the articles I posted in my blog):

This is a dangerous bit of advice to give to someone in a bad relationship. It encourages the guilt and lack of self-worth that they are already wrestling with, and it tells them they are wrong if they don’t say “enough”. The Pop-New-Age denial, pretence and martyrdom mindset is about glossing over and hiding real problems.. problems that can be fixed by living consciously. Facing your demons in cold, stark truth, allows you to grow, thrive and learn about yourself, far, far more than keeping an a--hole around in the hope that they might change.

Your duty is to yourself, no other. You can only support someone while they do the work they need to do. Thinking you can change another is a fallacy of co-dependence. Right up there along with the thinking that sacrificing yourself makes you a better person and that you are somehow needed. I choose to be with someone who wants me and it is much nicer than being needed, I assure you.




I think that - after taking time to examine things here, that I felt like I traded in one 'guilt trip belief system' for another 'guilt trip belief system'. And looking back, I feel that I did - what with all the 'but you choose this' nonsense, and all.

I have spent so many years undoing the damage that the Catholic upbringing has done to this body's psyche only to have seemingly traded it for this other nonsense dealing in the higher self-choosing to be abused, karma, etc. And just like that paragraph I quoted above - that's what I mean.

I simply exchanged one guilt trip for another as far as I'm concerned.

I just don't do this masochistic stuff.

Namaste
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Seraphin_npocampo » Wed May 07, 2014 7:19 am

Wow, Prien. Excellent post. Gave me goose bumps. And just as I was reading it, the song "Comfort Eagle" started playing on neighbor's radio :P :

We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes...


I started out alone in my spiritual awakening process. Eventually I felt a need for community, and I went out looking for it. Found a lot of groups I didn't fit in with, although I really did my best. I've found that even the most open-minded groups still act as groups -- there are certain amounts of conformity required for comfort among the members.

Some New Age groups, for me, offered the least comfortable gatherings: All that "love and light" hid a truckload of judgmental and -- dare I say -- arrogant attitudes. Being around them was like walking on eggshells; everything said was open to debate, and no one actually listened to one another. The atmosphere was strangely competitive; everyone seemed to be jockeying for some sort of elevated position of esteem within the group, and the energy of it all was very tiring.

Some other groups were a lot more laid back, but still there was a certain amount of push to "be more", to explore whatever the group expressed an interest in, and if a few weren't inclined to join in, it was suggested that they were "too fearful". No thought was given to the possibility that some choices are based on simple preference; there always had to be a "problem' to be confronted. Argh.

My fiancee and I have a small pagan circle now, which I shared here how unique and different it is from any other groups.

Conformity is no more comfortable for me than it is for you, Prien, and I have since returned to my relatively solitary travels. For what it's worth, I'm a lot happier now. I have a very few friends, but they more than make up in quality and depth what they lack in quantity.

This is one of the things I enjoy so much about EUTM, in fact -- there are no group expectations (that I can discern so far since I'm also new here); discussions are shared, and there's no pressure to participate or, if you do, to agree with what's been said. As far as I can tell, there is no mold here to conform to, other than the one that shapes our discussions into a respectful form. The folks here share without the kind of debate you usually find in forums, as far as I am concerned. I like that. So very, very much.

I hope you find EUTM as welcoming and unassuming as I do.

Namaste (and I mean that).
Seraphin

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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Kapitan Prien » Wed May 07, 2014 7:33 am

I started out alone in my spiritual awakening process. Eventually I felt a need for community, and I went out looking for it. Found a lot of groups I didn't fit in with, although I really did my best. I've found that even the most open-minded groups still act as groups -- there are certain amounts of conformity required for comfort among the members.


You're welcome. That's how it's been for me all throughout the years with this situation of mine. It always happened. I got involved in this because I wanted to help myself, not to help others (that part just came about out of it's own 'doing'). I wanted to help myself heal and better my life. I wasn't in it to do energy healing, readings, etc. for others.

New Age groups, for me, offered the least comfortable gatherings: All that "love and light" hid a truckload of judgmental and - dare I say - arrogant attitudes. Being around them was like walking on eggshells; everything said was open to debate, and no one actually listened to one another. The atmosphere was strangely competitive; everyone seemed to be jockeying for some sort of elevated position of esteem within the group, and the energy of it all was very tiring.


Yeah, I agree. I felt the exact same way. Admittedly that's how I feel about a large spiritual board (some here may know which one I'm talking about). Things get too cerebral for me and such. I don't really have any education beyond high school (not only in the spiritual sense - from my past, but also 'literally') and I feel that people like me are looked down upon because we aren't as 'brainy'/'cerebral' as those who have read tons of these spiritual books filling their heads with all this 'stuff'. So I feel left out because I'm a very simple person when it comes to this stuff.

Pagan groups were a lot more laid back, but still there was a certain amount of push to 'be more', to explore whatever the group expressed an interest in, and if a few weren't inclined to join in, it was suggested that they were 'too fearful'. No thought was given to the possibility that some choices are based on simple preference; there always had to be a 'problem' to be confronted. Argh.

My fiancee and I have a small pagan circle now, which I shared here how unique and different it is from any other groups.


Exactly. Sometimes I'm inclined to think that this whole spiritual stuff has become the thing it hates - organized religion (herd mentality) and it doesn't realize it.

Conformity is no more comfortable for me than it is for you, Prien, and I have since returned to my relatively solitary travels. For what it's worth, I'm a lot happier now. I have a very few friends, but they more than make up in quality and depth what they lack in quantity.


Yeah I'm slowly getting more comfortable with my being very solitary. I don't have any friends where I live and so must talk with people online and such. Also living in a place with all these churches doesn't help...not very diverse, no balance.

This is one of the things I enjoy so much about EUTM, in fact -- there are no group expectations (that I can discern so far since I'm also new here); discussions are shared, and there's no pressure to participate or, if you do, to agree with what's been said. As far as I can tell, there is no mold here to conform to, other than the one that shapes our discussions into a respectful form. The folks here share without the kind of debate you usually find in forums, as far as I am concerned. I like that. So very, very much.


I hope so though I don't want to automatically expect the above behavior from every pagan and spiritual board...due to my experiences.

I hope you find EUTM as welcoming and unassuming as I do.


Thanks. I pretty much keep to myself and feel most comfortable just posting on my site.
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Seraphin_npocampo » Wed May 07, 2014 8:08 am

Kapitan Prien wrote:I feel that people like me are looked down upon because we aren't as'brainy'/'cerebral' as those who have read tons of these spiritualbooks filling their heads with all this 'stuff'. So I feel left outbecause I'm a very simple person when it comes to this stuff.


I know what you mean. Now, I've got some "higher education" (university) under my belt, but in terms of spirituality I just haven't read a lot about other peoples' definitions of spiritual reality, and lacking that kind of encyclopedic information puts me on a low rung when it comes to the more cerebral types who believe the number of books one has read and religions one has studied is a determining factor in credibility. Bah... That kind of thinking is akin to "mistaking the map for the territory", and I think it can only serve as a divisive factor in the connections between spirituality-minded individuals.

A man once sneered at me, "Are you saying you can learn what you need to know about spiritual truth without a teacher?" I said yes; I know who and what I am as a spiritual being better than anyone else could. Boy did that get me some negative comments! I was informed that I was confused; that whatever I thought I knew wasn't real, blah blah blah.

Honestly. How arrogant for someone to think such things, let alone voice them!

Kapitan Prien wrote:Sometimes I'm inclined to think that this whole spiritual stuff hasbecome the thing it hates - organized religion (herd mentality) and itdoesn't realize it.


I think that's a very accurate assessment.

Kapitan Prien wrote:I just haven't been here long enough I guess and automatically expect the above behavior from every spiritual board...due to my experiences.


Yeah, that's been my experience, for the most part, as well. At one time I'd established memberships at several pagan and spirituality-based web sites, but the bickering and debate just got to me, especially when one person would tell another that her/his perceptions were wrong. Again, the word "arrogant" comes to mind. It's one thing to offer an alternative point of view for consideration; it's another thing altogether to argue over who's "right" and who's "wrong" and for one person to minimize or outright bash another person's personal experiences.

Evey time, I see someone acting like that, I really would want to tell them to do their homework. Conduct some in-depth research of experiences and realities and serious reading before making any conclusions or before dismissing these things as wrong.

What really got to me was when I'd share a personal and actual experience and someone would tell me I was wrong (like I really didn't experience it?) and "prove" it by quoting some book or the channelings of some extraterrestrials. Hee... Yes, I've been told my experiences weren't valid because some alien said so. And how do we know what the aliens have to say? Someone 'channeled' their messages. And you know what? I believe these folks do have access to communications from otherworldly beings; I have no reason to doubt it; but their reality is not the same as my own, and within the context infinity, I really doubt that any one being or group of beings can see all of spiritual reality. I just don't understand why do they want to convert me and others to their way of thinking? They may very accurately be defining reality as they see it, but from where I'm sitting it looks different. Doesn't mean mine is more or less real or accurate than theirs; it's just different.

I held that same arrogance before I started exploring thoroughly my spirituality. I thought others people beliefs and experiences were wrong, invalid, nonsense and a product of their fertile imagination, until I came into realization that " "truth is truth whether it comes from me or you or the aliens themselves. :D "

But people tend to want one answer for everyone and everything; they tend to see things in black and white, this or that, and have no interest in looking into what's in between. So I've learned to avoid folks like that and consequently I've found my community here. Yay!

Regarding the void you feel: Is it loneliness? Possibly a void where you're not getting something you want - so much that it's painful at times - but not a void where your needs are not being met? I ask this because I think I recognize that empty spot. Sometimes it feels so huge you think you're in danger of falling in, while other times it's not so big, right? Or am I super off-base with that? Not trying to define you or your reality for you; just wanting to understand.

Oh and...

Kapitan Prien wrote: I pretty much keep to myself and feel most comfortable just posting on my site.


Does this mean you don't want here? *pouty face* I hope not!
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Kapitan Prien » Wed May 07, 2014 8:24 am

I know what you mean. Now, I've got some "higher education" (university) under my belt, but in terms of spirituality I just haven't read a lot about other peoples' definitions of spiritual reality, and lacking that kind of encyclopedic information puts me on a low rung when it comes to the more cerebral types who believe the number of books one has read and religions one has studied is a determining factor in credibility. Bah... That kind of thinking is akin to "mistaking the map for the territory", and I think it can only serve as a divisive factor in the connections between spirituality-minded individuals.

A man once sneered at me, "Are you saying you can learn what you need to know about spiritual truth without a teacher?" I said yes; I know who and what I am as a spiritual being better than anyone else could. Boy did that get me some negative comments! I was informed that I was confused; that whatever I thought I knew wasn't real, blah blah blah.

Honestly. How arrogant for someone to think such things, let alone voice them!


I agree with the number of books read - I've read more books and info relating to U-Boat history than spiritual books. I'm trying to figure out what I've got going on DOWN here, not OUT there! Here...on planet Earth for crying out loud. Ugh. I don't care about any 'dimensions' or 'realms' etc. I'm just trying to get myself sorted out and grounded...not spaced out for Pete's Sake.

Oh yeah I've gotten that too. All these 'instant gurus' from the umpteenth dimension to help me figure out who I am...give me a friggin' break.

Yeah, that's been my experience, for the most part, as well. At one time I'd established memberships at several spirituality-based web sites, but the bickering and debate just got to me, especially when one person would tell another that her/his perceptions were wrong. Again, the word 'arrogant' comes to mind. It's one thing to offer an alternative point of view for consideration; it's another thing altogether to argue over who's 'right' and who's 'wrong' and for one person to minimize or outright bash another person's personal experiences.


That's the point where I'm at - the bickering and 'one up-manship' nonsense. I've been bashed quite a bit due to opening up about my experiences...and I've always said that those that feel soul exchanges don't exist must know how the unseen works then. That they must know God better than He knows Himself so to speak. There's many things I've never experienced - I've never seen auras or related things of that nature. I don't even know if a recent experience with having seen a deep purple color around my arms and hands is what that is or not. It's only happened once to me...and it didn't extend out far or anything.

In time I just 'got over' having to prove anything - that's why I like having my site. It's there mainly for my therapeutic benefit - and if it helps others...so much the better I guess.

Yeah, that's been my experience, for the most part, as well. At one time I'd established memberships at several pagan and spirituality-based web sites, but the bickering and debate just got to me, especially when one person would tell another that her/his perceptions were wrong. Again, the word "arrogant" comes to mind. It's one thing to offer an alternative point of view for consideration; it's another thing altogether to argue over who's "right" and who's "wrong" and for one person to minimize or outright bash another person's personal experiences.

Evey time, I see someone acting like that, I really would want to tell them to do their homework. Conduct some in-depth research of experiences and realities and serious reading before making any conclusions or before dismissing these things as wrong.


Yeah I feel the same way. I don't listen to 'channelings' but if people want to go out and do them...hey have a blast. Personally, I'd much rather hear what THAT PERSON has to say from their heart, not who or what they can channel. I don't care about that - I'd much prefer to listen to a human being thanks muchly.

But people tend to want one answer for everyone and everything; they tend to see things in black and white, this or that, and have no interest in looking into what's in between. So I've learned to avoid folks like that and consequently I've found my community here. Yay!


I think I'm on my way to doing that. I'm really feeling the 'black and white' pinch at the vintage living forum I visit...as it relates to WWII (not that everyone feels that all Germans were bad - it's just what's been written about ME...and this...this is where it gets downright STUPID - giving some author who never met me, doesn't know me from Jack...the authority to speak for me or state what I was like. There are very few whom I bestow that permission upon - my wife (now deceased for all I know) and Wolfgang Frank - he went out on patrol with me. You can really see why, after reading the above, I'm really REALLY irritated.

I don't want to drop out of the vintage living scene, but...at the rate this nonsense keeps up...I think I will have to lose a battle to win a war.

Regarding the void you feel: Is it loneliness? Possibly a void where you're not getting something you want - so much that it's painful at times - but not a void where your needs are not being met? I ask this because I think I recognize that empty spot. Sometimes it feels so huge you think you're in danger of falling in, while other times it's not so big, right? Or am I super off-base with that? Not trying to define you or your reality for you; just wanting to understand.


Yeah...I think it may be UBER-loneliness....and I'm not getting something I -want- (oh remember - wants are BAD...they're no-no's when it comes to this new-agey nonsense! can't have any wants....if you keep saying you want something...you will keep winding up with that 'want'...as the theme goes -that's my being sarcastic you know). My needs are actually being met in some way or another...but it is that 'want'. I want a companion - a female companion who is a friend, a romantic lover, a nurturer, etc.

I also want to move the bleep outta this town too...but I suppose that's another subject.

Oh - it doesn't mean I dont want to post here...it's just that for things I want to discuss I'll post here and my experiences I'm just keeping in my blog because I don't feel like repeating myself...LoL.
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Seraphin_npocampo » Wed May 07, 2014 9:13 am

Starting with the last line first:

Kapitan Prien wrote:Oh - it doesn't mean I dont want to post here...it's just that for things I want to discuss I'll post here and my experiences I'm just keeping in my blog because I don't feel like repeating myself...LoL.


*Big, happy sigh of relief* Oh I'm so glad! And that makes so much sense, not wanting to repeat posts you've already made elsewhere. I'm just so happy you're here for our discussions!

Kapitan Prien wrote:I'm trying to figure out what I've got going on DOWN here, not OUTthere! Here...on planet Earth for crying out loud. Ugh. I don't careabout any 'dimensions' or 'realms' etc. I'm just trying to get myselfsorted out and grounded...not spaced out for Pete's Sake.


I so get that. My Dad is... gads what words to use?... ahmmm... it's his life force I'm trying to describe. "Powerful" will have to do. But as a human being, his path is to experience this life from a non-spiritual perspective. He has very little awareness of his (awesome, amazing) spiritual self. My Mom who is a very religious and spiritual person struggled some with that, but you know what? She only struggled with it because someone else suggested that she "should" be conflicted about how different her and my Dad's paths are. Once she realized she needed to pay attention to her own experience and not be influenced by what other people think, then Mom was able to discern that Dad's path is just as real and valid as hers.

Your experiences with soul exchange, dude Prien, are -- wow -- more than enough for any one lifetime, and it makes sense that your focus would be there, on knowing your self, on understanding your experience. No need at all for you to explore other dimensions!

The purple color you saw... Even with your focus on your Earthly life, your spiritual perceptions might be fairly open. What you saw might have been the energetic evidence of the soul exchange or you may have simply gotten a glimpse of your energy body. Please let us know if it happens again!

Kapitan Prien wrote:Personally, I'd much rather hear what THAT PERSON has to say from theirheart, not who or what they can channel. I don't care about that - I'dmuch prefer to listen to a human being thanks muchly.


Me too.

Kapitan Prien wrote:I'm really feeling the 'black and white' pinch at the vintage livingforum I visit...as it relates to WWII (not that everyone feels that allGermans were bad - it's just what's been written about ME...andthis...this is where it gets downright STUPID - giving some author whonever met me, doesn't know me from Jack...the authority to speak for meor state what I was like. There are very few whom I bestow thatpermission upon - my wife (now deceased for all I know) and WolfgangFrank - he went out on patrol with me. You can really see why, afterreading the above, I'm really REALLY irritated.


That must be awful for you. I'm irritated just reading about it! People can be so presumptuous!

I never did get the reasoning behind some folks' insistence that wanting or longing is somehow a "lower vibration" kind of thing. Aside from everything else, I'm human, and as such I have human experiences that are no more or less important than any other experiences I might have. Loneliness is tough enough without someone berating you for what are very natural and real emotions. You know, those same folks who deride "wants" are the ones who will tell you it's bad to feel anger. Bullspit. It's a negative feeling, yes and it might be bad for them; I'll give them that; but for me, anger is a natural response to certain situations. It lets me know something isn't right, and it's the motivating factor in my finding a resolution to the problem. What's bad about that?

It is what we do about anger that makes the difference. Over time, unexpressed anger turns into hate. If we allowed to sink it to the bottom of our hearts, then that's BAD.

I was asking about your having wants versus having unmet needs because I don't often come across folks whose actual needs aren't being met even when everything is going in a way they don't want. You know what I mean? So I was curious about that with you -- wondered if the soul exchange had actually done some damage, left a void. I was just trying to nail that down so I could understand it better. And thank you for clarifying -- and for being humorous about it in the process! Sarcasm can be so grand!

Glad you joined here, Prien.
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Kapitan Prien » Wed May 07, 2014 9:46 am

I so get that. My Dad is... gads what words to use?... ahmmm... it's his life force I'm trying to describe. "Powerful" will have to do. But as a human being, his path is to experience this life from a non-spiritual perspective. He has very little awareness of his (awesome, amazing) spiritual self. My Mom who is a very religious and spiritual person struggled some with that, but you know what? She only struggled with it because someone else suggested that she "should" be conflicted about how different her and my Dad's paths are. Once she realized she needed to pay attention to her own experience and not be influenced by what other people think, then Mom was able to discern that Dad's path is just as real and valid as hers.


Exactly - I'm doing the same thing only now it's getting down to what some would call 'the nitty gritty' with things. It's less about the 'unseen' and more about the 'seen' but the 'seen' in a 'spiritual sense'.

Your experiences with soul exchange, dude Prien, are -- wow -- more than enough for any one lifetime, and it makes sense that your focus would be there, on knowing your self, on understanding your experience. No need at all for you to explore other dimensions!


Precisely. I've only been 'here' on earth for a bit over 6 years now. Plus I didn't have that 'transitory' phase or that 'adjustment period' that others do when they reincarnate by birth. So in a sense the 'spiritual world' is closer to me than the physical - hence my desire to integrate more with the physical than the other way around.

The purple color you saw... Even with your focus on your Earthly life, your spiritual perceptions might be fairly open. What you saw might have been the energetic evidence of the soul exchange or you may have simply gotten a glimpse of your energy body. Please let us know if it happens again!


I think you're right with the evidence because when I had a lady from France (she lives in the district - Brittany - where I had been stationed - Lorient...the U-Boat base there) do a Soul Retrieval on me on the body's birthdate back in 2008, that was one of the colors she saw. She saw the purple and gold. She had told me something similar to what you said - that that was evidence of my being a walk-in soul and to never let anyone say that I wasn't! (LoL)

That must be awful for you. I'm irritated just reading about it! People can be so presumptuous!


Well it admittedly did hurt a bit because the young man was, not too long ago, 'on my side' and we discussed U-Boats for a bit. I had even stated that I had done research since 2004 (the year the soul exchange happened) and it was left alone. Why he only sticks with that one book and not check my U-Boat site out or even ask me, is beyond me. I hate to sound all paranoid, but sometimes I do think that people want to try to guilt trip me/convert me to hating my own self.

As I said - the thing was was that he was really interested in the WWII German stuff, but then other people (including the staff on that forum) really got into him about him being involved with the WWII German subjects. I don't know if it was due to his age - he's 13, or what...but I'm finding that people who were once 'on my side' are doing 'about face' and then trying to 'convert' me....perhaps make me join the Allied side.

Yet to do so would be living a lie and going against Spirit/God or whatever you want to call it...because I would be going against my own soul (which is a part of Spirit). What on the outside may appear to be a 'good' thing - switching to the Allied side - would actually be what I would call 'anti-Christ'...simply due to the aforementioned. I will not go against my soul.

I never did get the reasoning behind some folks' insistence that wanting or longing is somehow a "lower vibration" kind of thing. Aside from everything else, I'm human, and as such I have human experiences that are no more or less important than any other experiences I might have. Loneliness is tough enough without someone berating you for what are very natural and real emotions. You know, those same folks who deride "wants" are the ones who will tell you it's bad to feel anger. Bullspit. It's a negative feeling, yes and it might be bad for them; I'll give them that; but for me, anger is a natural response to certain situations. It lets me know something isn't right, and it's the motivating factor in my finding a resolution to the problem. What's bad about that?

It is what we do about anger that makes the difference. Over time, unexpressed anger turns into hate. If we allowed to sink it to the bottom of our hearts, then that's BAD.


I love what you said and agree with it all the way. All of what you said - particularly the line regarding loneliness and being berated...that is why I have kept silent for so many years...well, since the soul exchange actually. I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't care to be berated for my wants which come from my heart. I miss my sister (well half-sister) and I miss my wife. I had/have a deep strong bond with my half-sister as I feel and think she was my wife when I had lived in Finland. I could be wrong, but going back through my correspondence with her that I could find on the Hermann Historica military auction site...one doesn't have to read far between the lines to notice it.

What people don't understand is that I don't have a family that I'm attached to. Much like some orphan...I have no mother that I have an emotional and spiritual bond with...this mother that I have now didn't give birth to me (to the body yes...but I wasn't IN the body remember).

I was asking about your having wants versus having unmet needs because I don't often come across folks whose actual needs aren't being met even when everything is going in a way they don't want. You know what I mean? So I was curious about that with you -- wondered if the soul exchange had actually done some damage, left a void. I was just trying to nail that down so I could understand it better. And thank you for clarifying -- and for being humorous about it in the process! Sarcasm can be so grand!


LoL. Oh my needs are actually taken care of quite well if I stop and think about it. I'm very fortunate the way things have been going at the moment (and hope that continues). It's just the wants...

Also, if you're wondering - this body was an only child and even if there were siblings it wouldn't matter because of the soul exchange. The few friends that were to be had well...it's best those 'friendships' are gone because they weren't healthy. I think that they were held on to simply because of the loneliness that would happen once they were gone.

Glad you joined here, Prien.


Sure thing ;) It's nice 'talking' with you too. :)[/quote]
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Seraphin_npocampo » Wed May 07, 2014 10:18 am

Kapitan Prien wrote:I've only been 'here' on earth for a bit over 6 years now. Plus Ididn't have that 'transitory' phase or that 'adjustment period' thatothers do when they reincarnate by birth. So in a sense the 'spiritualworld' is closer to me than the physical - hence my desire to integratemore with the physical than the other way around.


I have only heard of soul exchange as a concept offered for discussion (and usually lumped together with references to "twin flames" and "soul mates" for some reason); I've never met anyone who's actually experienced it. I am so grateful to have met you, Prien, and that you've been so generous with sharing your experiences here.

Kapitan Prien wrote:I think you're right with the evidence because when I had a lady fromFrance (she lives in the district - Brittany - where I had beenstationed - Lorient...the U-Boat base there) do a Soul Retrieval on meon the body's birthdate back in 2008, that was one of the colors shesaw. She saw the purple and gold. She had told me something similar towhat you said - that that was evidence of my being a walk-in soul andto never let anyone say that I wasn't! (LoL)


I think this is one indicator of true spiritual awareness (as opposed to spiritual belief without direct experience) - or it's one that helps me identify others who are spiritually aware, anyway -- when one person can share something about their spiritual reality and the other person can feel the resonance of the truth that's been spoken, even if it's not true for them personally.

I think that's what we run into so much in forums with the folks who are sooo incredibly argumentative :) : It's not just people who rely on the beliefs they've gained through reading books and what not, but also people who are truly spiritually aware but not to the point where they are aware of other realities or the validity of others' perspectives. I'm amazed by how many folks in this forum are spiritually and magickally aware to the point of understanding that theirs is not the only reality. It sure makes it easier to discuss things when no one is working to establish a consensus or trying to prove that they're right and someone else is wrong.

Point being, I think you were fortunate to find this woman who assisted you. So many who offer spiritual support do so prematurely, before their own awareness has opened enough for them to perceive realities other than their own, and their tendency is to 'correct' what they believe to be the misconceptions of others. How wonderful to have encountered and worked with someone who could perceive the truth of your experience and provide support for your journey!

Kapitan Prien wrote: I will not go against my soul.


Very nice dude!

Kapitan Prien wrote:... All of what you said - particularly the line regarding loneliness andbeing berated...that is why I have kept silent for so manyyears...well, since the soul exchange actually. I didn't want to bringit up because I didn't care to be berated for my wants which come frommy heart. ...What people don't understand is that I don't have a family that I'm attached to. Much like some orphan...


No doubt someone has at some point asked you, "So why did you manifest this for yourself?" Followed by, "And why aren't you manifesting what you want?" and "You must get over your fear and stop letting your ego get in the way." Am I right? Almost verbatim? I swear. Ever since the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne came out, there's been a tremendous drop in compassionate response to human struggles. Yes, yes what we put out comes back to us -- that's simple cause and effect -- but because we live within a larger context in which the causes and effects of other people and other events come into play we don't always have control over what "manifests" in our lives. To blame someone for their struggles as though struggling itself were the problem is... cold-hearted, if you ask me. I have very little patience for that kind of thinking or the energy it creates.

Okay I'll stop before that turns into a real rant. hee

Thing is, regardless of how awful it feels, it's fine to be lonely as long as you're not harming yourself and others and will not settle with it. You may use this opportunity to reflect. And it's okay that having friends is not enough to quench your desire for something more intimate. You know, if you're missing an arm it's only partially satisfactory to know that you still have one left -- you're still going to have some feelings about the one that's gone, and it's okay to have those feelings and to acknowledge them and hope to receive a compassionate response when you do.

Compassion won't change the situation, but it can be quite a soothing salve when properly applied to any emotional wound.

Kapitan Prien wrote:I have wondered too, "Have any of you 'lightworkers' ever stopped tothink that you are pushing things onto people who may not want it?"


I usually identify myself as a "lightworker". However, upon contemplating about what you've said and we've discussed here so far, I think it's better to call myself an energy worker, yes, since the term "lightworker" places inaccurate limits to what my own practices are. In terms of energy, there is no correlation between "light" and "good" or "dark" and "bad"; "good" and "bad" are subjective qualities involving intent and have nothing to do with the energy itself. In my experience, light energy produces while dark energy reduces. In healing, it takes a fair amount of both to restore the energetic balance of the body.

And in terms of balance, for some people it's the illness that provides the balance they need in order to proceed along their personal paths. Same is true for situational and mental/emotional struggles; sometimes it's the struggle that brings the balance. Heck I certainly learn more and gain more strength from times of struggle than I do from times of peace. I've come to see the value of the struggles in my life; they've done a great deal in shaping who I am today. I don't like to struggle; I don't enjoy pain, but I do see their value.

Yikes this is a long post! Better stop here!

*runs away quickly*
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Kapitan Prien » Wed May 07, 2014 10:47 pm

I have only heard of soul exchange as a concept offered for discussion (and usually lumped together with references to "twin flames" and "soul mates" for some reason); I've never met anyone who's actually experienced it. I am so grateful to have met you, Prien, and that you've been so generous with sharing your experiences here.


Well, I never even knew about such things. I was 'very simple' in my knowledge before this happened. To me, prior to this, reincarnation by birth was the only way. My view was limited - and I think this has to do with my environment in part (living in a town with 22 churches and nearly half that number are right in the borough). I knew very little and it seemed like everywhere I turned there was Christianity that was the type of 'it's this way and that is all there is to it!' - no Christian Mysticism or anything. All the guilt, fear, sin, hell nonsense. It was difficult and spiritually suffocating for me. Once this happened - my whole world was turned inside out, upside down and in reverse...LoL. A life of hell became a life of peace. So on that note - You're Welcome. ;)

I think this is one indicator of true spiritual awareness (as opposed to spiritual belief without direct experience) - or it's one that helps me identify others who are spiritually aware, anyway -- when one person can share something about their spiritual reality and the other person can feel the resonance of the truth that's been spoken, even if it's not true for them personally.


Oh - I don't study the subject of auras or auric light, but from what little I know and have read online about it - that it is as well. I like the rest of what you said and I think that is something I've never really heard said anywhere else in all the groups and such I've passed through. Perhaps others have but I haven't and that's what I like about this place.

I think that's what we run into so much in forums with the folks who are sooo incredibly argumentative :) : It's not just people who rely on the beliefs they've gained through reading books and what not, but also people who are truly spiritually aware but not to the point where they are aware of other realities or the validity of others' perspectives. I'm amazed by how many folks in this forum are spiritually and magickally aware to the point of understanding that theirs is not the only reality. It sure makes it easier to discuss things when no one is working to establish a consensus or trying to prove that they're right and someone else is wrong.


Oh yeah precisely! I agree with you on that! I think that is one of the reasons why I've tired of much of this. It takes the heart out of it. There is something 'different' (in a good way) about this place...and I can't put my finger on it, but I do 'sense'/'feel' it.

Point being, I think you were fortunate to find this woman who assisted you. So many who offer spiritual support do so prematurely, before their own awareness has opened enough for them to perceive realities other than their own, and their tendency is to 'correct' what they believe to be the misconceptions of others. How wonderful to have encountered and worked with someone who could perceive the truth of your experience and provide support for your journey!


I agree. I had seen that happen very much. Now - I'm no 'bookie' or anything and I just feel that sometimes reading too much - puts too much into one's head...and then you got to undo all that. Causes too much thinking in my view. I may not be 'book smart', but I've had some nice experiences. ;)

No doubt someone has at some point asked you, "So why did you manifest this for yourself?" Followed by, "And why aren't you manifesting what you want?" and "You must get over your fear and stop letting your ego get in the way." Am I right? Almost verbatim? I swear. Ever since the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne came out, there's been a tremendous drop in compassionate response to human struggles. Yes, yes what we put out comes back to us -- that's simple cause and effect -- but because we live within a larger context in which the causes and effects of other people and other events come into play we don't always have control over what "manifests" in our lives. To blame someone for their struggles as though struggling itself were the problem is... cold-hearted, if you ask me. I have very little patience for that kind of thinking or the energy it creates.

Okay I'll stop before that turns into a real rant. hee


Yeah...been there. And I couldn't have said it better myself. I love what you said. I too think that it has gotten to a point where it has lead to the 'detachment' (I'm sure we could rant together on that) of a dangerous degree. All this 'higher self' - 'you chose this life' - nonsense creating a so-called 'spiritual detachment' where people just stand by while bad stuff goes on. In my website there is an article I posted entitled 'New Age Love and Light Fallacies' written by the owner of the In 2 Worlds website. She mentions something like you did:

[Xiao Rong: Again, please refrain from posting long passages from other people's articles unless you are the author. It's okay to post a few paragraphs at a time when properly attributed, but not three or four pages' worth of material. We have had copyright issues in the past that we would like to avoid in the future. To see what Kapitan Prien quoted, please see points 9 & 10 at this link, "The Anti-New Age Establishment", about events planned by the Higher Self and the Law of Attraction.]

I usually identify myself as a "lightworker". However, upon contemplating about what you've said and we've discussed here so far, I think it's better to call myself an energy worker, yes, since the term "lightworker" places inaccurate limits to what my own practices are. In terms of energy, there is no correlation between "light" and "good" or "dark" and "bad"; "good" and "bad" are subjective qualities involving intent and have nothing to do with the energy itself. In my experience, light energy produces while dark energy reduces. In healing, it takes a fair amount of both to restore the energetic balance of the body.

Hmm...I do like that! It isn't polarized.

And in terms of balance, for some people it's the illness that provides the balance they need in order to proceed along their personal paths. Same is true for situational and mental/emotional struggles; sometimes it's the struggle that brings the balance. Heck I certainly learn more and gain more strength from times of struggle than I do from times of peace. I've come to see the value of the struggles in my life; they've done a great deal in shaping who I am today. I don't like to struggle; I don't enjoy pain, but I do see their value.

I agree - I've felt the same way with my situation/s but never really said so.

Yikes this is a long post! Better stop here!


Nah...this is refreshing to me!
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Re: I feel this stuff is not for me...

Postby Seraphin_npocampo » Wed May 07, 2014 11:50 pm

I like those passages you posted. Of course I do -- they're very similar to my own views! hee

Of being a "bookie" -- I read a lot, but it's my main source of entertainment, and for the most part I stick to fiction like Harry Potter and Harry Potter :lol: . I do love a good story, especially if it's well written. In fact, I will plod on through a not-so-good story if it's written well enough, enjoying the wording more than the story sometimes.

I did read Carlos Castenada's books (The Teachings of Don Juan, etc) when I was in High School. That was my introduction to metaphysics; although a lot of it went right over my head, I did feel a sense of resonance with some of his writings. And, just for clarification, when I say that something "resonates" for me, it just means that on an energetic and intuitive level I recognize that it's true -- regardless of whether it's directly applicable to my own life or spiritual reality.

In my college years, I read The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception. Found a lot of resonance there, but also some glaring contradictions. Last year, I sent a letter to the Rosicrucians and asked them to clarify those parts, but all I got in return was some ego-stroking exclamations about what a "deep thinker" I was, and an invitation to move in with their community. Anyway, it was a strange response, and I declined. :roll:

About two years ago I read Alan Watts' The Book, which was a fun and wonderful read as well as one of the greater external facilitators of my personal awakening process, stretching my mind in directions it would have taken me longer to find if I'd not read that book.

Beyond that, though, I prefer fiction. If it makes me laugh, all the better. My point -- reading about the beliefs and experiences of others can be valuable, but I think to take those things as personal spiritual truth without the benefit of direct experience is, as Alan Watts put it, "mistaking the map for the territory".

Hee... and if you are using words like "polarized", Prien, you must be reading some... or maybe you've encountered the concept where I did -- online. If you'd have mentioned that term to me just two years ago I wouldn't have known what the heck you were talking about! Came across the term at another forum, one I joined because the concepts they were discussing really resonated with me. Learned very quickly, however, that most of the folks at the site were relying on "channeled messages", rather than direct experience, for their discussions. Made for a lot of arguments over semantics and a lot of minimizing and denying the direct experiences some folks shared there.

Nice to have found a place where there just isn't all that nonsense! Refreshing indeed!
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