*~* Witchcraft and Wicca Forum *~* EUTM


Commitment spells...

Have a question about a spell or witchcraft/Wicca? Ask it here. Those of you who like to help others can help answer questions.

Commitment spells...

Postby Fluffy » Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:04 pm

Here's something to ponder, which I have been doing all day now. According to "The Secret" and quantum mechanics and so on, if you want something and visualize it happening, then you should receive it. So if I want the man I love to love me back, and I'm reading "The Secret" and I get the idea to visualize us married and happy, fine. No harm in the fact that I've made an attempt at changing the energy of the universe to get my wants fulfilled.

Take it a step further. If I then perform a "Commitment Spell," why is that so bad? I do not profess to be an expert in Wicca, but aren't spells just another way to manipulate energy, just like quantum physics/The Secret?

Many are freaked out about using commitment spells to manipulate the energy of a particular person. I'm on the fence about repercussions, if any. Here's the rub. What's the difference if you pray to God/spirit guides/the goddess/Saint Anthony/whoever, "Oh make him love me, make him love me, please please please," or use quantum mechanics to try to make him love you with every electron in your energy field. Why is it so different if you use salt and candles and rose petals and belief in your own psychic power to get what you want?

I'm not a hormonally-crazed budding Wiccan teen with a mad crush (thank goodness those days are over, they were tough!). I am a middle-aged woman with a postgrad degree. This Commitment Spell idea isn't a whim, but something I'm really struggling with. 20 years ago, a man broke my heart. Many boyfriends and long term relationships later, I reconnected with him in July. We became lovers again but he is unable/unwilling to commit (to me or any woman). He cares about me and we have respect and friendship for each other. Maybe what this fifty-something year-old commitment phobe needs is a little magick worked on him. Is that really so terrible? I don't feel like it is. I bought all the ingredients, yet am only 80% sure I'm going to perform the spell. Thoughts?
Fluffy
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:05 pm
Location: Northeast U.S.

Postby Greymalkin » Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:17 pm

Many, many people will tell you not to do it. I always say do what feels right.
You have only one responsibilty in life, and that is to make your life as comfortable and as blessed as you can.
If you understand the workings of magick then you have it within your means to have that comfort.
If it means having to manipulate another person's free will - so be it!
Nobody else will make your life happy, so grab it yourself.
User avatar
Greymalkin
Banned Member
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 6:31 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby Stephanie Mae » Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:01 pm

I agree with Grey about creating a blessed happy life for one self, but love spells generally do not turn out good in the long run. My grandma always told me about a man and a woman from the same bhaile dúchais. The woman loved the man and so she willed him to fall in love with her. The man turned into a reckless, neurotic man and the woman fell out of love with him. The woman became reclusive and within a few years died of melancholy.

If you really want someone, just try to get them the old fashioned way, if they are not interested then move on. Would you want someone to love you only because you forced them to? It would not be true.
Stephanie Mae
 
Posts: 384
Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:19 pm

Postby Fluffy » Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:35 pm

Hello Stephanie Mae,

Thanks for the input. Wow, that was an eye-opening story. Yikes. I Googled "bhaile dúchais" to learn it's Gaelic for "home town." I wonder to what length this woman went to get the man. How sad that it worked out so badly. I also wonder where the fine line is for willing something to happen and to actually perform a spell with all the accoutrements and rituals. Maybe things do (or don't) happen for a reason.
Fluffy
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:05 pm
Location: Northeast U.S.

Postby Greymalkin » Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:45 pm

Whenever people ask me to do spells for them in this nature I always ask them do they really want the other person to "love" them or do they only want sex with them.
Let's get real here.
When most of us have an infatuation with somebody we only really want sex.
If you do want them to love love you, who cares if it's real or not?
And whose to say that love through magick isn't real anyway?
I've done spells before to help women get pregnant - does that make the baby in some way 'unreal'?
If somebody doesn't have the knowledge our power to repell you magick it's tough luck.
Do what you gotta do.
User avatar
Greymalkin
Banned Member
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 6:31 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby Stephanie Mae » Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:29 pm

Greymalkin wrote:Whenever people ask me to do spells for them in this nature I always ask them do they really want the other person to "love" them or do they only want sex with them.
Let's get real here.
When most of us have an infatuation with somebody we only really want sex.
If you do want them to love love you, who cares if it's real or not?
And whose to say that love through magick isn't real anyway?
I've done spells before to help women get pregnant - does that make the baby in some way 'unreal'?
If somebody doesn't have the knowledge our power to repell you magick it's tough luck.
Do what you gotta do.


You make a great point! Love spells for short infatuation or sex are completely great! Whenever someone mentions love spells, I personally go right to true love. I'm sort of old fashioned in that way, as in I don't see guys for anything but love or friendship ever. I don't know exactly why I am that way, but it's just the way I've always been naturally. Fertility spells are completely beautiful as well.
Stephanie Mae
 
Posts: 384
Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:19 pm

Postby Buttercup » Fri Jan 29, 2010 11:33 am

In my opinion,one of the main reasons one should not do a commitment spell if the other person is unwilling to commit is because there are issues behind the other person's decission not to commit.In other words,if you perform a commitment spell in a situation like this,you may bring all these issues into the relationship and you may end up in a situation that doesn't make you happy.Why don't you try some other kind of spell,one to help you understand why he's not commiting for example?This way you will have more stuff to work on in order to help him resolve his issues(and maybe some of your issues that will come to the surface along the way) and you will start your common life in more harmony than by just making him commit with the use of a commitment spell.
Buttercup
 
Posts: 113
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:39 pm
Location: Greece

Postby Moonlight Maverick » Fri Jan 29, 2010 12:26 pm

I am always doing spells for the guidance with respect to love. I think they can really help when used properly. I believe I have found my soulmate now, after about 4 years of intense spellwork asking for the guidance to find him (aw! :) ) and to not be a psycho (now that I've got him) (I have weirdo codependent issues that I try hard to work through - messy childhood and traumatic past relationships)...

I think it's important to always ask for guidance and always use a "rider" with your spells. Everything I ask for (relationship and otherwise) will be for the highest good of all. That is to say, if it is not meant to be, that things will become clear and I will do what is right. Regardless, I am quite happy now but I always have to work at it and try to be the best person I can be. :) Good luck to you! PS Friday during a full moon is perfect for a love spell! :)
Moonlight Maverick
 
Posts: 89
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:35 pm
Location: Romulus, MI

Postby Greymalkin » Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:38 pm

Let's cut to the bone here.

All this nonsense about "affecting someone's freewill" is a load of crap.

It all comes from the rede, the "an it harm none" bit. When Wicca became available to the masses in the late 80's early 90's all the unhappy ex-Christians were looking for something else to fill the god shaped hole in their lives when they left the church.

Some tried Buddhism, others tried other things, but most wandered into Wicca.

Due to their former christian faith they were used to following a belief system that told them what to do and when to do it.
They didn't find that in Wicca.
They found a faith system which pretty much left it up to them.
They couldn't handle that so they had to find something, anything that sounded like a commandment.

Enter: "An it harm none, do what thou will"

Looks like a commandment. Sounds like a commandment. It MUST be a commandment.

And, oh boy how they ran with it.

Now, some 15 years on, with all these expert neo-pagans running around, people like me are virtually strung up if we say we don't follow the rede.

I was friends with Doreen Valiente for the last few years of her life. She told me once that she and Gerald only wrote the Rede as a guideline, as advice, not as something to be followed blindly.

She didn't even follow the rede and she wrote the damn thing!!!

"Do what you've got to do" - that's MY rede and I'm sticking to it.
User avatar
Greymalkin
Banned Member
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 6:31 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby Radiance » Fri Jan 29, 2010 8:44 pm

Greymalkin wrote:
"Do what you've got to do" - that's MY rede and I'm sticking to it.


Love it!!

Mine would be more like "Do whatever you want to do as long as you are willing to deal with the consequences."

An it harm none is much too broad. You walk across a lawn and KILL bugs, stir up soil and damage it's organisms and bend and bruise the grass. Are you not harming the air by breathing it? And what of food? Even if you are Vegan things are still dying so that you may live.
Radiance
 
Posts: 217
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:45 am
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada

Postby Earth Ritual » Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:46 pm

There are certain spirits in nature who teach magic who only teach if the pact is made to do no harm. And there are other spirits that feel differently.
You are either for Life or against It. There is no in between.

I used to believe in god above. Now I'm filled with so much love.-Erykah Badu after the invocation of the Goddess

May the love that holds eternity at its fingertips kiss each and everyone one you on the lips. May your words bring worlds that bring hope to a world dying to be reborn.
Earth Ritual
 
Posts: 506
Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:53 pm
Location: North Carolina

Postby Avalon » Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:51 pm

The Brehon Laws (Also know as the 13 Primary Laws) from Ireland state

"So It Harm None, Live According to Will"

This is clearly talking about Free Will and as these laws are believed to have come from a time before even the Romans had reached Ireland and therefore before Christianity I find it hard to disagree with them.
Avalon
 

Postby Twisted_Pixie » Fri Jan 29, 2010 10:59 pm

Radiance wrote:
Mine would be more like "Do whatever you want to do as long as you are willing to deal with the consequences."


That is mine too!!! =)
Twisted_Pixie
 
Posts: 505
Joined: Mon Sep 21, 2009 8:19 pm
Location: Faerie Land

Postby Greymalkin » Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:50 pm

Radiance wrote:
Mine would be more like "Do whatever you want to do as long as you are willing to deal with the consequences."



Well, yes, that does seem to be a bit more grown-up than mine but I have to bow down to that petulant child within.

It gets the best of me everytime...
User avatar
Greymalkin
Banned Member
 
Posts: 623
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 6:31 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Commitment spells, why so bad?

Postby Kassandra » Tue Feb 02, 2010 1:13 pm

Fluffy wrote:....I do not profess to be an expert in Wicca, but aren't spells just another way to manipulate energy, just like quantum physics/The Secret?...What's the difference if you pray to God/spirit guides/the goddess/Saint Anthony/whoever, "Oh make him love me, make him love me, please please please," or use quantum mechanics to try to make him love you with every electron in your energy field. Why is it so different if you use salt and candles and rose petals and belief in your own psychic power to get what you want?

I'm with you on that. I think there's no difference. It's all energy.


And I think Radiance wrote a new rede, lol!

Radiance wrote:"Do whatever you want to do as long as you are willing to deal with the consequences."

An it harm none is much too broad. You walk across a lawn and KILL bugs, stir up soil and damage it's organisms and bend and bruise the grass. Are you not harming the air by breathing it? And what of food? Even if you are Vegan things are still dying so that you may live.

Much more logical. Takes away that childlike need for the false morality some nebulous "rule of 3" provides (...and honestly, how do you quantify that? Does it mean if it "comes back" to you only two times, you get to slide on the third? What if it "comes back" to you five times? Does that mean god/goddess miscalculated and can't add? Would one then get two free karma passes? Totally illogical).

Bottom line: the doer is 100% responsible for any energy manipulations he or she does, and just needs to be prepared for the repercussions of his or her actions, simple as that.



.
:fairy: bling ~ Have a magical day, now ~

Ask Kassandra
Find Balance
Awaken
User avatar
Kassandra
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 1879
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:42 pm
Location: Sol Star System, Planet Terra III


Return to General Questions about Wicca & Magick

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest