oh wow i'm so sorry for not replying I got so focused on my studies (and admittedly went through another serious faith crisis and for a short time tried finding myself through an old christian church I attended. Good news I found my faith where it had been all along and starting walking my path again as an eclectic pagan/shaman.)
I finished school graduated with a degree in History and a minor in creative writing (Graduated May 13th). I landed a freelance writing job and have had a handful of articles published on Daily Glow
Its a wonderful feeling to call myself a writer and it be true lol. Love eventually found me again, I hope this is it for me. I'm quite content with my new boyfriend who is smart, funny, more talkative than I am, and has a good head on his shoulders. He's graduating in the spring and if finances are in order I'll be moving with him when he goes off to grad school we're not staying in Texas if we can help it ^_^
I've been missing community and that has been the biggest part of my bouncing back and forth around faiths. There was a really sweet girl about my age who talked to me on the first day of school about christianity and we struck up a friendship. I joined the Chi Alpha student ministries for a short while and attended her bible study. The night I was asked to keep quiet during bible study opened my eyes. I understand that she wanted to give others a chance to speak and that since she worked with the foreign students they needed that time, but when I had questions and couldn't ask I felt shut out and distant from the group around that time too she started focusing more and more on other christian charity and I got left out altogether. Finally at the last bible study I attended I couldn't help myself and asked to be taken home early. I felt more lost in that room surrounded by friends than I have every felt in my entire life and I had two hungry entities living in me one full of anger and regret the other yearning for a connection. I was reaching out and felt like I was getting nothing. I had my friend take me home early after I spent a while texting my boyfriend trying to sort out my thoughts in the middle of a pretty big faith crisis. He helped me through it but left the decision up to me. He is neither christian nor pagan, and he chooses not to label his beliefs at all, and even though I'm back on my old faith walk, he doesn't doubt that what I experience is real, he doesn't judge me for it, and when I need him to walk with me he walks with me.
My family has finally accepted my faith as well, it was an up hill battle with my mother my whole life and she's finally seen what I've been meaning all this time about my faith, she's still confused on what the term "shaman" actually means but I don't to give her a lecture, now that she accepts I'm not christian and its no longer a fight, I'm satisfied.
wow that was a lot of words XD I appologize. I should be back almost daily from now on though ^_^ so I hope to see every one around.