~ EUTM ~ Forum for Witchcraft & Wiccan Spirituality

[Zili]

Hi there everyone first off let me apologize for being gone these last several months, my timing was not the best as i left when the board was having issues as well. My relationship was rocky and i felt i needed to spend some time focusing on that. My efforts were for nothing however as he cheated twice and then dumped me when I caught him in the lie. I've moved back home with my parents and I am no longer a "future wife/step mom." (for those who are new my ex had a son i took care of as if he were my own flesh and blood since the day he was born.) 2 years wasted but I've learned a few lessons, and that's always a good thing.

while i was in the relationship my depression and my boyfriend's antics kept me from feeling close to my faith and now I'm focusing on getting that back along with setting and reaching goals for myself. I tried searching for other boards and felt unwelcome or a lack of flowing conversation turned me away. I'm used to EUTM where we are allowed to speak freely and seek advice with out feeling like i'm stupid. I connected with people here and I've missed that.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Zili, a former member and moderator here. I've been off and on the pagan path since i was 7 years old. I haven't taken a step off this path since 2008 when I decided to practice shamanism and identified as an eclectic pagan. I'm now 24 years old and will be graduating in may or june with a degree in history and a minor in creative writing.

[Starwitch]

Hi Zili, welcome back.

I guess things were pretty slow in January when you returned. I think it's picking up a bit now. We have a full-time moderator and he's been a big help to me lately. His name is The Judge, you may remember him from before. He was in the military and had a tendency to come and go, but I guess he's been discharged now and is home for good.

I'm sorry to hear that your relationship has ended on such a sour note. Hopefully there will be a future love in store for you that will be kinder to you.

I still don't post much around here. I was just doing admin stuff, deleting old members (over half have been deleted! ) when I noticed your post and thought I'd reply. If you need me you know where you can find me. Otherwise, I hope to see you around.

Bright blessings,
Starwitch

[The Judge]

Welcome back. It seems that EUTM weathered a storm and now everyones showing up at once. :p I was out for a while myself as Starwitch indicated so you don't have to apologize for it. I was gone 2 years. :p But I like to think I've learned something in my time apart and can bring it back here, as I'm sure you have plenty of new experiences.

Sorry to hear about the relationship. I'm not much good on that front though. Never had one that lasted to that point myself, unfortunately. Strangely I've never been the one to cause the problem. Oh, well. If that's how they're going to treat you your better off, right?

Anyway, glad your back. And I hope you continue to enjoy your time here at EUTM, as I have.

Note: I realize I use a ridiculous anount of smileys sometimes, lol.

[firebirdflys]

Zili!!! my friend...good to see you back have missed you. Sorry bout the break up...that sucks, if you need to talk, I am here Blessings, Firebird

[Zili]

oh wow i'm so sorry for not replying I got so focused on my studies (and admittedly went through another serious faith crisis and for a short time tried finding myself through an old christian church I attended. Good news I found my faith where it had been all along and starting walking my path again as an eclectic pagan/shaman.)

I finished school graduated with a degree in History and a minor in creative writing (Graduated May 13th). I landed a freelance writing job and have had a handful of articles published on Daily Glow Its a wonderful feeling to call myself a writer and it be true lol. Love eventually found me again, I hope this is it for me. I'm quite content with my new boyfriend who is smart, funny, more talkative than I am, and has a good head on his shoulders. He's graduating in the spring and if finances are in order I'll be moving with him when he goes off to grad school we're not staying in Texas if we can help it ^_^

I've been missing community and that has been the biggest part of my bouncing back and forth around faiths. There was a really sweet girl about my age who talked to me on the first day of school about christianity and we struck up a friendship. I joined the Chi Alpha student ministries for a short while and attended her bible study. The night I was asked to keep quiet during bible study opened my eyes. I understand that she wanted to give others a chance to speak and that since she worked with the foreign students they needed that time, but when I had questions and couldn't ask I felt shut out and distant from the group around that time too she started focusing more and more on other christian charity and I got left out altogether. Finally at the last bible study I attended I couldn't help myself and asked to be taken home early. I felt more lost in that room surrounded by friends than I have every felt in my entire life and I had two hungry entities living in me one full of anger and regret the other yearning for a connection. I was reaching out and felt like I was getting nothing. I had my friend take me home early after I spent a while texting my boyfriend trying to sort out my thoughts in the middle of a pretty big faith crisis. He helped me through it but left the decision up to me. He is neither christian nor pagan, and he chooses not to label his beliefs at all, and even though I'm back on my old faith walk, he doesn't doubt that what I experience is real, he doesn't judge me for it, and when I need him to walk with me he walks with me.

My family has finally accepted my faith as well, it was an up hill battle with my mother my whole life and she's finally seen what I've been meaning all this time about my faith, she's still confused on what the term "shaman" actually means but I don't to give her a lecture, now that she accepts I'm not christian and its no longer a fight, I'm satisfied.

wow that was a lot of words XD I appologize. I should be back almost daily from now on though ^_^ so I hope to see every one around.