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Avoiding Self Sabotage

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Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby DPhoenix » Mon Sep 02, 2013 2:14 pm

A lot of people I've met start out with high hopes of being able to do amazing magickal achievements, then after a few spells that didn't get the results they wanted it really took the wind out of their sails. I'm of the opinion that we all self sabotage ourselves from time to time... our spells fizzle out like a sparkler dipped in water or they blow up in our faces. So it got me reflecting on how that happens and how to avoid it. (if anyone has any thoughts or theories to add to mine feel free to do so!)


The four areas of self sabotage are:

Negative Karma: It is important to know where you are from a karmic standpoint. Negative Karma gained from this life or past lives can have an impact on the effectiveness of your magick and may also be a cause of backlash. It is best to make sure your karmic slate is clean.

Negative thoughts/negative thinking: At it's core, magick is the manifestation of the conscious will and unconscious intent. Though you may consciously want a positive outcome, having a negative attitude or negative thoughts will unconsciously interfere with the manifestation process. Using positive affirmations are helpful for this problem.

Self Doubt and Impatience: When magick doesn't happen instantly we can become impatient and doubtful. This falls along the same lines of negative thinking. Instead of being nervous and upset about whether a spell will work, turn that energy into excitement! Visualize the results you want with joy and excitement until they manifest. It does take some degree of faith, doubt only serves to block the flow of your energy.

"I don't deserve it..." Most people aren't going to blatantly say they don't deserve something but unconsciously many people have that attitude. Don't believe me? Try looking at yourself in the mirror and say, "I love you, you deserve the best". If you're like most people you'll feel weird or uncomfortable saying it. To help overcome this problem a good exercise is to stand infront of the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say, "I love and accept you, you deserve all good things." But you can't just say the words, you need to really mean them and put as much love & emotion behind it as you can. Do that 3 times a day for 21 days and it will change your life!

When I cast a spell and it doesn't go the way I meant it to I often reflect on these things. Usually I find that I've been self sabotaging myself in one or more areas.

I hope this has been helpful and again, if anyone has more to add to this list I would be very interested in hearing what you have to say.

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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby Pinkpower_80 » Mon Sep 02, 2013 5:22 pm

I am by no means advanced in Wicca but I have known for a long time that I'm a self-saboteur in most areas of my life. I don't want to be (obviously) but I honestly don't know how to stop. Maybe I will start by using the methods you listed. You've no idea how much I needed this!
I have a pretty low opinion of myself & that affects every aspect of my life. I used to be such an upbeat person but I let life get to me. :(
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby LoneWolf78 » Sun Sep 22, 2013 12:30 pm

This is a very good post. The only thing that I would suggest is that everything else that you mention stands completely on Negative thoughts/negative thinking. When one changes the mindset to positive all of the sudden small little miracles begin to happen.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby DPhoenix » Sun Sep 22, 2013 12:44 pm

LoneWolf78 wrote:This is a very good post. The only thing that I would suggest is that everything else that you mention stands completely on Negative thoughts/negative thinking. When one changes the mindset to positive all of the sudden small little miracles begin to happen.


Thank you! :)

The older I get the more I see how important positivity is.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby Vigdisdotter » Sun Sep 22, 2013 7:53 pm

Not all of us follow the karma model.

I would also add that self-sabotage can come from a fear of success. After all, with success comes greater expectations and responsibilities.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby DPhoenix » Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:23 pm

Vigdisdotter wrote:Not all of us follow the karma model.

I would also add that self-sabotage can come from a fear of success. After all, with success comes greater expectations and responsibilities.


Those are good points. A fear of success could stem from feeling like you don't deserve to be successful or from self doubt.

I do tend to worry about anyone who feels they are exempt from karma (whether they believe in it or not). So many religions and cultures have a form of karmic law that I find it hard to dismiss it. To me past life karma helps explain why bad things happen to good people.

But then I also believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is an intelligent design. The more I study chemistry and biology the more is strengthens my belief in this. Things may look random on the surface but when you begin dissecting things, even down to the atom, things are much more orderly & precise then they seem on the outside.

You can attribute it to deities, an intelligent universe or even aliens... but the more you dig into the nature of energy, molecules, scientific laws and biological processes the more orderly and less random things become.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby Vigdisdotter » Mon Sep 23, 2013 1:35 am

DPhoenix wrote:I do tend to worry about anyone who feels they are exempt from karma (whether they believe in it or not).


I really hope you're not suggesting that belief in karma is necessary for ethical behaviour, because that is frankly insulting.

DPhoenix wrote:To me past life karma helps explain why bad things happen to good people.


And that, right there is why I DON'T believe in it. There is no way to prove what happened in anyone's past life. And exactly what kind of Karma in a past life allows a person to be a douche in this one AND get rewarded for it? If you don't know what I mean, take a look at cooperate business practices and CEOs. And that's only one such example.

On top of that, I've seen the claim of "It's his karma" used to many times to provide an excuse NOT to care about the suffering of others that the word leaves a VERY sour taste in my mouth. My mouth was at dialysis one night when one the nurses came over and TOLD her that she was making herself sick because of her choices (Karma). My mother was reduced to tears and for what?

DPhoenix wrote:But then I also believe that everything happens for a reason and that there is an intelligent design.


I don't. I don't believe in petty gods that sit around with day planners. "Oh! It's Tuesday. Laura is going to be raped at 11:47pm."

There WILL be a reason (Laura got picked up by the wrong guy, she left the bar at the wrong time, she didn't notice something slipped into her drink, she walked the same way home as always but this time someone was waiting for her, etc.) more than a few in most cases, but nothing says there's intelligence behind it. If there was, there would be no point in doing anything. And I really have no use for nihilism.

If it works for you, great, but please do not tell me what I should be seeing/believing. And the comment about being worried....not cool.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby DPhoenix » Mon Sep 23, 2013 3:10 pm

Vigdisdotter wrote:If it works for you, great, but please do not tell me what I should be seeing/believing. And the comment about being worried....not cool.


If you reread my post I think you'll find I didn't tell you what you should or shouldn't believe, it's just what I believe. It's not that I think EVERYONE should believe in Karma... but I get concerned about whether or not people realize that actions do have consequences and you don't have to believe in Karma to believe in consequences. However, I've met wreckless people over the years who don't believe in Karma which is why I get a little concerned.

I wasn't personally attacking you and quite frankly it's none of my business what anyone believes. I was expressing my thoughts and opinions. Take them or leave them... it's up to you.

If I offended you then I am sorry and it wasn't intended.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby Xiao Rong » Sat Sep 28, 2013 5:47 pm

A number of posts have been moved from this thread to the Conflict Resolution forum, since they had less to do with the original topic and more to do with a personal disagreement between members. Vigdisdotter, if you care to hash out your differences, you are welcome to do so there, although I suspect that DPhoenix is not particularly interested in continuing that conversation.

Anyone else interested in weighing in on self-sabotage in magic, karma, and the likes - carry on!
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby YanaKhan » Sun Sep 29, 2013 12:26 pm

I'd say avoid doubting your good intentions. Like for example, you think you need to cast a spell, but it's going to affect a certain person. So you start worrying about messing up with karma and then what if the bad things happening to that person are a lesson he/she has to learn and by my interference he/she won't be able to learn it? And what if I do more harm by not letting him/her learn?
These thoughts have held me back. I haven't yet learned how to completely free myself from them, but I'm trying to tell myself that if I wasn't meant to cast the spell, it wouldn't feel right. After all, intuition is one of the reasons one starts casting spells in the first place. At least it is with me.
Another of my personal experiences is after getting the result I wanted, I start feeling guilty about it. That I can't help yet, hopefully someone has a tip on that one?
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby DPhoenix » Sun Sep 29, 2013 6:47 pm

Elcida wrote:what if the bad things happening to that person are a lesson he/she has to learn and by my interference he/she won't be able to learn it? And what if I do more harm by not letting him/her learn?


I've been in that same boat several times. I usually only step in if it's life threatening. For example, someone very close to me was with an abuser. I cast a spell for her to have self respect and do what was best for her. 2 months later she left him (which I was surprised the spell worked that quickly).

But free will eventually wins out and 8 months later she was back with him. As much as you want to help the butterfly break free from the cocoon, unless they do it themselves their wings will never be strong enough to fly.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby YanaKhan » Mon Sep 30, 2013 2:03 am

DPhoenix wrote:I've been in that same boat several times. I usually only step in if it's life threatening. For example, someone very close to me was with an abuser. I cast a spell for her to have self respect and do what was best for her. 2 months later she left him (which I was surprised the spell worked that quickly).

But free will eventually wins out and 8 months later she was back with him. As much as you want to help the butterfly break free from the cocoon, unless they do it themselves their wings will never be strong enough to fly.

Yeah, good point. I'm sorry she ended up with him after all, abusive relationships are hard to get out of if they are all you know.
Anyway, I guess it's always a good thing to have permission when casting on someone else. Unfortunately the stigma on witchcraft is very strong and most people are afraid of what they don't know.
On the subject, when casting on someone else, when intentions are good, there is a possibility that the karmic lesson is to learn to help others and for the other to learn there are people who would help without wanting anything in return. My point is, if it feels right to help, perhaps it is. You never know what the lesson is and if never take a chance, you never lose, but you never win either.
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby DPhoenix » Mon Sep 30, 2013 8:50 am

Elcida wrote:My point is, if it feels right to help, perhaps it is.


I think that's a great attitude to have! :)
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby MsMollimizz » Wed Jan 01, 2014 5:54 pm

I've done a few spells in my life but...
I have come to realize that somethings are not persuaded by magick...
I filed for ssi (disability) in 2002, first phone interview was on April Fool's day;
go figure ! I was living in my Uncle's backyard in my motorhome when I filed.
I did many visualizations, spells, others have also done spells for me...despite
everything, I went thru 2 lawyers (I did a spell for lawyer to use my diminished
mental capacity for case, I sealed it and mailed it off; his asst called next day
and he pushed me off onto another lawyer farther away), 4 hearings I was
finally approved Sept. 2013 ! Ten frillin' years I fought; I've come to believe
government peoples are not affected by magick, I don't know how tho !
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Re: Avoiding Self Sabotage

Postby lazihex » Sat Jan 04, 2014 10:54 pm

A few thoughts ... On your statement about negative attitudes, and thoughts. It is very true that Magick is easy and overflowing when I'm happy. But I disagree that " negative" attitudes and thoughts disrupt magical workings. 2 things. The first is, we are human.
The second is, I've examined this rather thoroughly, and understanding that workings happen on the astral plane initially, to achieve balance, they reflect themselves in our dimension. They must. My humanity, can really muck up that process. Therefore, I've had to exonerate my ideas of negative, positive, bad and good. Human ideas, And belief systems. When we get a glimpse of both sides of the track- mundane and magical, we quickly learn balance is key, duality is a necessity, and dark is found in light as light is seen in darkness. Without a contrast, half of everything doesn't exist. Magick when I'm angry for instance ( and yes it has happened. I do have Magick temper tantrums, and no, I don't need a lecture) is extremely powerful. That isn't my point, nor would I recommend that. My point is work to dissolve the belief systems. All of a sudden, things aren't so negative anymore. Indeed, negative doesn't exist. Another thought- when I do magical work. The one thing that I must do, for any working to manifest, is forget about it. It is extremely taxing to do Magick - not energy draining, it takes up a large part of the day. The night. I must get into a pretty special place, mentally and emotionally, it's like a constellation of stars. They align, and then they don't. If you leave your alter, or your rock or carpet, after you have gone to all that trouble to set something going, and don't leave it there, of course it isn't going to manifest. You are essentially f*cking with it more, and invading it, with all the present goings on and thoughts that you are in. ( short version) do it. And forget about it. Like it never existed. Sometimes, if you look back, I'm sure you will find that you did some Magick, and couldn't get it out of your mind, thought about it, waited for it, gave up on it, got angry , whatever. But it was as soon as you forgot about it, that poof. It happened. I'm not Wiccan, obviously. Just some thoughts from an outside perspective.
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