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Autumn Swan

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Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Mon Aug 21, 2017 2:15 pm

I already have a book of shadows going on here but I have some rants on my mind that don't really fit there. So I put them here into my blog if that's okay. Have a witchy time reading it... :flyingwitch:
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Mon Aug 21, 2017 2:41 pm

Let's begin with: The Trouble with my Ancestors! :surprisedwitch:

I certainly would like to have my DNA tested to know for sure what cultures my ancestors belonged to but this shit is expensive. I have only so many Cents left after paying rent, electricity, gas and various doubts and of course food for myself and my nine furry friends, so I'll do with what i know from parents and general knowledge. The latter means I read articles like 'The standard German is descended from Celts, Germanic people and the Slaws' and I say yey wooohooo tell me all about it... and then they don't. :roll:

The family name of my farthers side is weird. I haven't heard it anywhere else. It could be Spanish or Italian, but also Old Persian...? I asked if anyone knows about it and they said, oh well probably Polish. Maybe. Why do you care again?

:roll:

Anyway. This paternal side is doomed. My father was (is) a pedophile. My great grandfather was in jail for bigamy. My grand father was gardener, at least something, but he also used to beat his children (and who knows what else...). I left all of them behind me but they still block my roots. They are what I feel 'the German side' because I grew up in Germany with them and on the other side was my Polish maternal family as a hearsay.

My mother was Polish, well, was born there. She only spoke German with me though. Her mother was German born, too, because of the political border regulations or something. So it's not as interesting as I thought... but her name was very Slavic, so that was a comfort for me during the time i hated everything German because of the connection with my paternal family.

The area where I live used to be very populated by the Celts, that much I could find out. But it is nothing knew and also a tiny bit like...huh okay so what... I like some of their gods and I like Druidism but I feel that is not something that I can find in the past.

Now I got a strong feeling that I also carry Baltic heritage. Baltic is a name for Prussian, Latvian and Lithuianian culture though, to be fair and honest I've always thought of Prussia as German...? Anyway, that's not the part of me that I'm looking Baltic Myths. It's definitely Lithuanian what I feel drawn to, though also Latvia, and I feel oddly proud to make this claim. But since it's not proven I don't run around telling everybody. You are the first ones. :wink2:

My mother was very fascinated with Greek Myths, and there was a time I worked more with Greek Gods than I do now. I've been to Greece a few times, and it's not hard to imagine that a few ancestors lived in that great country, not hard at all.

And then there are the ancestors of the heart/spirit, I guess. I've always been most fascinated with the (original Bavarian) Empress Elisabeth of Austria and Ungaria. She also had a castle in Greece, by the way, and I have visited it, so so sooo cool! :lol:

I always had a strange and unexplainable dislike for the Romans, though, and feel like they are my enemies? I guess there runs a ancestral memory of some battles.

The only ancestors I have contact with right now are my mother, her transition did her really well and now we get along when before in her life there stood many things between us. But it's still not the tightest bond there can be. Then there is my twin sister, who sends me so much love all the time that I sometimes question if I deserve that. But I am not allow to doubt it so... yes i am very grateful for her help. :P The last one is a spiritual ancestor who I found a few years ago. He was an artist in his life, and if I can say anything for certain about myself it's that I'm creative and artistic. I wouldn't have claimed that this can be a connection but well, he says its enough and since I'm not well equipped in the ancestor department I accepted him into my soul family so to say... :fairy:

Oops that was pretty long now. :oops:
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby planewalker » Mon Aug 21, 2017 5:01 pm

It's your blog. Make it as long or short as it needs to be and your comfortable with. I didn't have any problem with it. It was clear and well written. It wasn't so long that it was a great task to read.
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Wed Aug 23, 2017 2:09 pm

Thank you, planewalker, that's nice of you. Have a sweet cup of tea and wait for my next rant if you want :wink2: :flyingwitch:
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Wed Aug 23, 2017 2:58 pm

Today! About the Gods!

So now you already know with which cultures gods I have made acquaintance. Greek, Celtic, Germanic and Baltic. But now let me tell you more about my feelings.

As I have mentioned there was a time when I hated everything German. I wanted to life abroad, so I went to England and then the Netherlands where I worked on a farm and volunteered in a music cafe. I had the best time and found my best friends (now back in France and Norway though :( ), and had an epiphany as well. Life was everywhere what I made of it. Also, in the music cafe I heard another German girl talking about how she didn't like Germany and they laughed and I was like - the hell I'm that girl but I don't want to be her! Stop laughing about my home country! goodnevil

Okay, I admit it wasn't that easy. Yes, I went back but I knew I had to work to improve my relationship with the land. I had to think about the brutal past of the the country (so much nazi guilt there, and on the other hand my great-uncle who had died in a death camp) as well as about my personal history (pain, fear, more death). Then, in the middle of it all, the gods appeared, the Germanic ones who were the only ones I hadn't examined. Loki made himself known, loud and drastic, the only way I could hear him back then. He asked me to worship him, he asked for stuff. He was there and helped me accept love, and fort he first time I felt like I had a family.

Yey, I know! Through him I met Thor, Freya and Sif... and it was good. But. I kept searching like I still had to find something. Fast forward to last year or sowhen I ordered the book 'Drawing down the sun' because all those Wicca books I read were so very much moony, and I saw the sun as the main goddess of everything. In that Book were descriptions of sun goddesses of all cultures, and this was when I for the first time heard about the Balts. (Geography wasn't my best subject okay?) They had Saule - and her description and attributes read exactly like Freya! My deepest knowing that Freya once had been the greatest sun goddess of them all was confirmed in this book. And when I read about the whole pantheon there I discovered the final piece of the puzzle.

Look, all those cultures that we commonly know as pre-Christian had a common Indo-European root. But the pantheons seem so very chaotic (look at the Greek!) that it's hardly to see anymore. The Baltic pantheon though is pretty close to the original I.E. one. I think that because a) they were a bit isolated up there, b) the place is where the I.E. people were before they went further down and up again and c) they were the last country ever to be christianised, keeping up the worship of their gods even longer up until the nineteenth century and they have many many folk songs preserved.

So with the help of the Balts I started reconstruct the Original Pre-Germanic pantheon. Look at Tiwaz, for example, his name is identical to the Baltic main god Dievas. I got deeper and deeper into the studies of comparative religion and everywhere I discovered similarities! So great, really.

I thought about calling my new-old pantheon 'Vanic' - a term that has send me searching in the beginning - but I couldn't. It already exists, and even though I think those who are known as Vanir are really more Snorri-made, I can't just go around and deny them. So I'm not sure what to call my gods now. But they are there. :P Only Loki refuses to neatly fit in but... I mean... he's allowed to, isn't he? :mrgreen:

Oopsi long again... but that's what rants are, aren't they?
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby planewalker » Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:49 pm

I thought that though Loki hung out with the Germanic or Norse Pantheons he was of Giant extraction in some way. Please enlighten me.
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Thu Aug 24, 2017 8:25 am

Well the sources about Loki are not many, and allow various interpretations. He is said to be a Giant, yet somewhere else he was called an elf (can't remember where :oops: ). Since his parents are Farbauti (force) and Laufey (wood) he has also been interpreted as fire, which comes from rubbing two wooden sticks together with much force. In Denmark and Sweden he is (as Lokke) known as the hearth fire and summer heat and the heat of the earth. In the story where he steals Sifs golden hair which stands for corn he is seen as the summer heat as well, or as the one who gathers the harvest. Through the birth of Sleipnir, the double legged horse, he is associated with the divine horse twins (whose individual German names have been lost, and only can be traced in Norse lore via Sleipnir).

(Damn if I had access to my pc I could give you many good links!)

Then there is UPG I share with others. He surely is a trickster but if you are open to his lessons he won't play you much tricks... maybe to make you laugh, though. He does enjoy being mischievous when people are lying to themselves, and especially if they are hurting others in the process. Loki is working for the truth, No matter how much this truth will hurt. In this regard he is a god of destruction, and when someone isn't ready to face the lies he tells himself or look at the deepest ground of their own shadow, they are afraid of Loki. (Funny enough those are most of the people in the Asatru movement, well from what I have seen there.) Because of this, though, Loki is a good god to work with if someone suffers from depression or the like. He has been there, and he can show you the way out. Of course, you still gotta walk for yourself.
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby planewalker » Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:24 am

Thanks for the info. I'm an adept of the light so I might run into him as fire lighting the dark. Wouldn't it be wheat. Until 1500's corn was with my AmerInd family in the Western Hemisphere?
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Fri Aug 25, 2017 1:11 pm

I have to admit sometimes I don't understand what you're saying. :oops:
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby planewalker » Fri Aug 25, 2017 2:13 pm

About the grain - corn was a new world plant. I thought the European pantheons would reference wheat as the grain that shows gold in the fields when growing. Corn shows green until it's been harvested and cleaned from it's husk and cob.
As to being an adept of the light, I am a believer in the Law of Three writ large as the basis of theology. It is just as a coin. It has three sides. Good - Bad - this reality {width} wear it comes to balance and is where we exist in this illusory "Now" that is the construct our sentience agrees on to communicate with each other. I'm on the side of the balance that brings light to this existence. I neither fear nor hate the darkness. It defines me and gives me purpose in being an emissary of the light. I'm just a part of the balance of this part of the multiverse. I've been beyond the veil and was given the choice of returning or going on with other tasks. I was shown the importance of what I could learn, what I could teach, the healing of others and using that to heal myself to be better equipped for my next form of existence.
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Fri Aug 25, 2017 2:30 pm

Oh i see, okay. Well I used corn as another word for wheat because I thought they were interchangeable, but you use corn as a word for not wheat (where you make flour from) but for maize!

About the light-darkness thing, I agree. You put it in complicated words but I understand it now. It's the basic principle of polarity, isn't it? :)
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby planewalker » Fri Aug 25, 2017 2:52 pm

The size of the kernel of corn is about the size of the nail on your little finger. There are many of them on a cob about three inches in diameter and lengths up to a foot. It is covered in long green leaves that fully cover the kernels. The leaves must be removed - husking, and the kerels dried and ground. The kernels of wheat are much smaller and are winnowed and threshed before they are ground.
It's a theology of cosmic balance.
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Mon Aug 28, 2017 11:18 am

Yes. Like i said. But thanks for repeating it, who doesn't like reading the same thing over and over again? I certainly enjoy it. (...not.) :evilwitch:

Rant about Psychic Abilities!

I always feel like a joy or rush when I discover something that fits perfectly in the I.E. pantheon like I have reconstructed it, or rather let's say like I feel that it has originated since I'm no doctor or anything. I work with Wikipedia and my intuition. Maybe it's what nowadays is called clear-knowing, wait what's the term...

Claircognizance - intrinsic knowledge.

Clairsentience - knowledge by feeling.

Those words or categories confuse me a little bit but maybe because I haven't studied them thoroughly. Those two are my thing, though, I think. Is there a specific difference? I guess there is or there wouldn't exist two words. Maybe I should read up about them. Yes but not now my pasta is cooking let's go eat damn I'm hungry. goodnevil It has been an exhausting day! :anxious:
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby planewalker » Mon Aug 28, 2017 7:56 pm

It could be access to the akashic record. Not to kill it, but I was going for fullness and balance through unity of all the parts that make the whole, and being one of the parts {or a part of a part} Sorry, I took polarity to be more about opposition.
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Re: Autumn Swan

Postby autumn swan » Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:38 am

Oh don't mind me, I was hungry. :oops:

With principle of polarity I was mentioning one of the seven hermetic principles that are said to be the commit laws, see here.
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