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Anyone experience these certain issues with a deity??

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Anyone experience these certain issues with a deity??

Postby Onlybeentenminutes » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:29 pm

So a few weeks ago I started letting the Goddess Nanshe into my life. She seemed like a good fit and I wanted to see what she had to teach me. I started setting up a pretty basic altar and almost immediately after... I could tell she wasn't pleased. My room was messy and I could tell she hated it and the altar wasn't that great. Or at least not to her standards.
Now I just brushed this off because my the other two deities I follow have always been very understanding and didn't mind my attempts at altars for them. (It's really not like I don't try, I do. I just have very limited funds and a father who haven't pagans. So it's difficult and the other two have always been very understanding and encouraging).
But then, after all of that, I started feeling... Awful. It felt like I was getting depressed, like I was developing some kind of anxiety disorder and also that I was developing these other dissociative disorders I've dealt with before. Over these past few weeks I've felt incredibly stressed and constantly on the verge of a breakdown.

But tonight just now. After talking to a friend about how I've been feeling and heading to the bathroom to cry it out, I sort of... Felt something. And at that moment I told Nanshe to go away and that her presence wasn't welcomed or needed. And the tears stopped. It was incredible and scary and shocking... Because all of the stress and the pain and the fear I've been dealing with these past weeks instantly went away.

So has anyone dealt with an, I'm guessing, angry deity like this before? Just curious about what people might have to say.
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Re: Anyone experience these certain issues with a deity??

Postby SpiritTalker » Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:28 pm

I don't have any experience to offer, as I don't work with individual god-forms. Just as a thought, you might take a step back when you feel able and look at what you know of Nanshee. She might very well have shown you something with a one-time visit. See if her symbolism and associations could represent shadows in your own self-image, if that sort of self-psychoanalysis appeals to you.
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Re: Anyone experience these certain issues with a deity??

Postby Siona » Fri Feb 09, 2018 5:35 pm

Not all deities are going to be best-buddies with you right away. (Or ever.) Some deities feel like friends, some will not. Look at some of your past human teachers. Have they all felt like friends? Did none of them ever push you to do better? Have you ever been held to different standards by two different people? Deities are like people, they are not all going to be the same, and your relationships with them will not always work the same way. Your relationship with your best friend is different from your relationship with your father, which is different from the relationship you might have had with your grade school teacher, which is different from the relationship you might have had with your high school math teacher, with is different from your boss, which is different from your co-worker... well, you get the idea. ;)

So, with that in mind, look at the attitude you brought to this relationship. When you invite someone in,they are your guest. You make the environment as welcoming to them as best you can. In this case, you didn't know a messy room would be an issue, but when the issue was revealed to you what did you do? You brushed it off. You did the same with the altar. It wasn't to her standards, but did you ask why? Did you make attempts to fix it? Again, you say you brushed it off because you figured this deity would be like the others, rather than her own being. (Are these deities all Sumerian, or from different pantheons? Did you do much research into the Sumerian pantheon and practices?)I do not believe you need to be rich and give lavish offerings to a deity. I totally understand that not everyone has a ton of disposable income or an accepting family - but something like cleaning your room? Doesn't take money, doesn't take a pagan family. Even if it would be a hard or long task, if you want something from a deity (you wanted her to teach you), sometimes you have to buckle down and put the work in.

And that's something to really keep in mind before inviting a deity in. If you can get an idea of what they would expect from you beforehand, do so, because there are many deities who will expect much more from you than a clean room and a specific sort of altar. And, truthfully, you will not get along with every deity out there. Some relationships are short lived - but in this case, short as it was, I think there are some valuable lessons that can be taken from it.
I sing of you, blessed, night-winged Dream, Messenger of things to come, greatest prophet to mortals, in the quiet of sweet sleep you come silently and speak to the soul.
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