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Help! My Children Were Taken Away From Me!
From: Tawna
Date: Nov 14, 2008 12:24 PM
Hi my name is Tawna and I found you through your website "everything
under the moon". I have a problem and I was wondering if you can help or
give me advise. About 2 months ago my children were taken by social
services on a false charge. My children are 21 months and 3 years old, and my step-kids
are 9 and 11.
We have been to court and they won't even let us have
visitation. I feel like my heart has been ripped out!!! I am currently
pregnant and due with my
son in three weeks and I am afraid they will take him too. Every time we
turn around there is something else wrong and we are supposed to be
taking all these classes (parenting, family counseling etc.) but social
services is taking forever to get us started. I have even tried to get
into this stuff myself and it all is being held back because I have a
new (slower) social worker. We also have a really hard judge. I don't know
what to do, I need my babies. I sit here crying so hard talking to you I
have to take breaks in my typing. Do you have advise or anything? I
would seriously do anything to get my children back soon!!!
Thank You
Tawna
Hi Tawna,
Watch the movie "The Secret" and use the techniques that they teach to
change your life and create the reality that you desire. Something you
can do right away is to stop thinking about what you DON'T want to
happen. Your thoughts create your reality. Thoughts are things. They
leave your mind, go out into the world and act as a magnet that draws to
you the things and people that you think about most. Putting emotion
into a thought is what makes it manifest much faster. Only allow
yourself to think and speak about things that you DO want to happen.
Start saying affirmations every day like: "My children live with me and
are happy and healthy." Or a simple affirmation that covers everything
is, "Every day in every way my life is getting better and better."
This crisis in your life is the Spirit's way of giving you an opportunity
to change the way you've been doing things. You will need to do some
deep soul searching and really examine your motives. Many times people
delude themselves into believing that they are doing what's right for
their children when really they are acting out of self-interest. For
instance, my ex-husband's daughter (my former step-daughter) wants to
live with him because her mother is an alcoholic. I'm sure her mom is in
denial about her problem, but she surely must see that drinking every
day and having a quick temper can't be very good for a kid to live with.
But when the girl asked her mom if she could live with her father, the
mom said no. Of course, there are lots of (selfish) reasons that she
wouldn't want her daughter to leave...
1. She would lose child support.
2. She would look like a bad mother in front of everyone she knows.
3. She would have to admit that she isn't perfect.
So these are all painful things to face obviously. Of course, if
she examined the situation objectively, she would see that the relationship
between she and her daughter is not going well and she would make an
effort to change things NOW before her daughter leaves her. But so far,
she has been too self-centered to be able to see that.
What I am suggesting to you is that you really try to see things
objectively. Instead of simply panicking and getting emotional, really
look at your situation and the relationship with your children and see
what you can do to make things better for everyone, you included. It
doesn't help the kids if you do everything that social services asks of
you, but you have an attitude about it as though you don't really need
this and there is nothing for you to learn. Think of everything that
happens in your life as a learning experience for your soul. Because
that's exactly what it is. We are here on Earth to help our souls grow
and learn lessons. Having your children removed from you is a tough
lesson. What do you think you can learn from it? I can see a few
things...
- To treat everyone with kindness and respect (Do unto others as you
would have them do unto you). That includes children. Don't boss them
around for your own purposes just because they can't say no to you since
they are little. Little kids aren't put on this Earth to be our personal
servants. At the same time, you don't want to cater to them and give
them everything. There must be moderation in all things. No extremes.
- You will learn to appreciate the relationships with your children more
deeply because you know that it may not always be there if you allow
yourself to get sidetracked from what is most important.
- You must not EVER think of yourself as a victim. If your husband isn't
kind to you, if he doesn't treat you with respect, that means, above
all, that you do not treat yourself with respect. You will only allow
another person to treat you as badly as you treat yourself. If you are
being treated unkindly by him, then you will spend all your time and
energy obsessing about him. This takes energy away from your kids and
that's when things will start to fall apart with them. Of course, other
things can create the same kinds of problems. Being on pills, pot,
alcohol, "real" drugs (crank, meth, crack, cocaine, heroin,
ecstasy), gambling, Internet use, TV watching... the list
could really go on and on. There are so many different things that could
take your energy away from what is important (LOVE). You must find a way
to stay focused on Love. Love and knowledge are the only things we take
with us when we leave this world. Nothing else is important.
Make a list of all the things you are grateful for and post it where you
can see it and read over it every single day. This will draw to you the
things that are on the list. So make sure that you write only things
that you want to experience. Spend some time each day reading over the
list. Imagine that your kids are home with you and that they are playing
and happy. Imagine yourself being happy too. If your husband is dragging
you all you down, imagine that you are free of him and that you have
learned to be happy without a man.
Good luck to you. (Actually there is no luck. You create your own
reality. Always remember that and you will be more likely to create a
good reality instead of a bad one.)
Bright Blessings,
Heather
Love
Spells |
